One of those days where your mind screams 'blarg!'

I'm getting anxious. Big decisions are being made. Nightly. And up until now I've been surprisingly good at not second-guessing myself and our decision to move home. Especially earlier this week which I believed "Team Kentucky" to be the obvious winner for the day.

In one day I spoke with the cutest woman on the planet back home about house insurance and left each conversation with that wonderful warm fuzzy feeling when you talk to a stranger who is unusually nice. It's odd that sometimes that's a rarity here- and I'm not dissing San Francisco but it really can be several attempts before I get a return smile from anyone on the street- but the woman on the phone genuinely sounded happy for me that I was moving to Paris- a refreshing response when I usually leave the "I'm moving to Kentucky" conversation semi-exhausted and embarrassed from defending myself.

This positive spin on small-town life coupled with a nasty experience at a hipster dive bar in the city later that day that left me with flashbacks of high school and not fitting in with either the ridiculous perfect popular kids or the equally ridiculous ironic t-shirt and tattoos crowd. I just wanted to scream "Please brush that decade-old chip off your shoulder! High school is over! You do not have to be rude to me just because I may remind you of the girl who was a bitch to you back then! You're both equally as hateful! Don't you see??"

And yes I am aware that I had a day of extremes: the best of small southern town and the worst of big city life- but it was definitely making me feel more confident about leaving here.

And then I went home to Pacifica.

Oh sweet, small, surfer-town Pacifica. You are so beautiful in the fall and winter. I thought we would be gone before your best part of the year began but we're right in the thick of it.

I went to the Farmers Market by the ocean, a market I rarely get to because of its odd hours but that day I was able to marvel at everything and really enjoy myself. As I walked around the open air I discovered my favorite Pacifica local-merchant shop has moved next to the market and closer to my house and I had forgotten what a great place to find homemade gifts for people it can be. Then I realized how wonderfully less expensive the market produce is here compared to San Francisco but still the same great quality. And I was ecstatic to find out that recently the city has started a community garden in an abandoned soccer field and anyone can volunteer and they give workshops on suburban gardening and sustainable eating.

And then my heart semi-broke.

I've been so busy cramming everything San Francisco in before we leave that I had forgotten how wonderful and unique Pacifica is. I've been comparing Kentucky vs San Francsico and I forgot how great small-town life is because I'm already living it. I realized I'll never get to work in the community garden, or learn to surf down the street from my house or see the ocean every single day on my way home- all things that have nothing to do with San Francisco and everything to do with where I really live: a sleepy little hippie town nestled on the beautiful Pacific coast.

I'm really going to miss it.

Useless Information for your beautiful Saturday afternoon

The San Francisco Giants AT&T Park's field is Kentucky Bluegrass. However it will never quite look as beautiful as the rolling farmland in the Bluegrass without the calcium-rich limestone soil.

You can make sourdough bread in Kentucky but it will never quite taste as good as loaves baked in San Francisco without the specific bacteria lactobacillus sanfrancisco.

Insert a hyper-intelligent quote about life lessons here. I couldn't think of anything clever to tie these two facts together. My mind is mushy from signing my name 1,000 times on house paperwork. Oh yeah- we bought a house! So here's one more useless bit of info to grow on:

The word mortgage comes from the Latin meaning "death grip"

Awesome.

Nostalgia is a girls best friend

Those who know me may agree that I'm a bit of a softy. I may or may not cry at any commercial that tugs the most remote of heart strings and RL is never surprised to look up from his computer while I'm watching television (even though what's on the screen could very well be a rerun of Scrubs that I've seen a million times) to see my eyes filled with tears. I get it. I'm emotional. I feel as though emotions are one of the few binders between all people and therefore experiencing them is very important to a healthy and enjoyable life.

One of my favorite emotion triggers is nostalgia. I'm getting nostalgic for San Francisco and I haven't even left yet! Nostalgia allows a person to stay in a certain place emotionally when you can no longer be there physically. And for that I will always be thankful for anything that lets me remember fondly a time in my life I am no longer a part of.

So for those of you reading that are thinking, "Why on Earth are you leaving/coming back/ever left?" (And I get those questions almost daily) here are two videos that make my heart ache for the places I've been and the places I will soon be from.

Filmed in San Francisco

Just like the city: surreal, interesting, and inspiring

and this little gem:

Filmed in Paris, Kentucky- our soon-to-be small town home

Just like the country: breathtaking, peaceful, and inspiring

Both of these videos make me so happy, I might just watch them every time I start to forget how wonderful my life is. Filled with love from both coasts.

And it's always fun to see Elizabeth Banks as a brunette;)

One Month & Counting...

I'm not quite sure what this blog will entail.

I'm 30 days away from boxing up almost five years worth of life and relocating back home. Only smaller. Much, much smaller.

But I thought I might share my experience with you. With anyone reading this- which may very well be no one. But I'm okay with that. Because the more of this experience I get outta my head, the least likely I am to clunk my husband on the head with a giant roll of packing tape. Repeatedly. Just kidding.... maybe ;)

This is what I'm about to leave:

But don't cry for me just yet. This is what I'm coming home to:

Photo courtesy of Chris Padgett

With this crazy bunch :)

And maybe along the way we'll start to understand just how lucky we really are...